She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Sorry about my life...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
