Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
