My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
