and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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