I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
