need another drink. this is the easiest way
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
