please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
