girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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