i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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