i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
