Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
