Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
