The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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