it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
