I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
