If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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