it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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