Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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