Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
