Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
