I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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