I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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