You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
