All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
