she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
