what if every blade of grass was a penis?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize