Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
