Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
