So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
