Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
