he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
