The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
