We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
