he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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