DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
this hospital has no fireball
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
