Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize