my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
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