Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
