Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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