i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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