and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
