It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
