hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
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