Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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