I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
