We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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