please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
