just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
