I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
