You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
