she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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