i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
