come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
