Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
