yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
