i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
