i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
