that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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