My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
