K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
