she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
