I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
